Cocaine Fiends

ha… the title has nothing to do with anything except it was the first DVD on my shelf that I saw, when I looked up thinking “hmmm… what should I open this tangent with” and voila… it was either that or Attack Of The Giant Leeches and/or Dead Like Me. All great films for various shoddy content. Well, the Dead Like Me series is actually amazing but sadly it’s no longer on the air… Attack of The Giant Leeches, is exactly what you would expect. Thin story line and weak special effects. I love it for all it’s cinematic Blob-like niche horror flick-ness. haha Odd sentence structure but just roll with it. This last week at work was insane. We’re all holding our collective breaths to see what’s going to happen with the future of the paper. There shaking the sales staff down for more revenue while our creative & editorial staff keep up a daily prayer of this day not being there last. It’s tough times out there… and we’re just little worker bees without much say as to what happens with our future. The worst part is that as a whole… we love our product. The paper in itself is a fantastic publication who’s voice is slowly being drowned out over the battle cry of bankruptcy and CEO’s decisions. The club has been super slow as well… but I think that will pick up. So I have faith. Speaking of faith… my social life, while as a whole, has been non-existent lately …. time’s with the boy are more frequent and steadily more amazing then last time. He’s working through his own process right now… so I don’t normally speak up about what’s on my mind… but there’s times when I wish I could let him know that I think he’s, quite possibly… the most dynamic guy I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, falling for and even simply befriending. As a whole, I usually keep most stuff that’s personal… to myself anyway… I’m not necessarily a control freak by any means… But I get nervous about putting myself out there, and allowing myself to become to vulnerable- when I’m not a 100% about the return feelings. So mostly, I just keep quiet and enjoy the times we do get to hang out. I guess I figure that A) things are fine the way there are… and for us both, we’re fulfilling a need.. and B) He gets so spooked by any announcement of overly displayed emotions, it seems. Sooooo hence the just live and let live vibe I’ve been rolling with. Since this is my pseudo secret outlet that I’m fairly sure he doesn’t frequent… let me, just for once… tell the world- that I think this guy is amazing. Fun, smoking hot, intelligent, passionate, in depth… etc… all good stuff. He’s got a frankness about him that I adore, and appreciate more then I’ll ever be able to explain.. .mostly due to past experiences. So I’ll spare everyone the hard-knox tales of love gone past…… and just leave it with the starry eyed tangent above. Wow.. that’s crazy. I can’t believe I just laid it out here. Oh well.. like I said, this here’s my secret space. haha.. Anyway… lately.. I’ve been dreaming about the beach again, and have decided that at some point, in 2009…. I’m taking one of those surfing trips. You know the kind… Costa Rica somewhere, the whole package… one lump sum and it includes air fair, lodging, surfing etc….. if I don’t hit the warm waters soon… I might just explode. I live for it. What’s funny is that looking at me… you’d think I spend all my time lurking in dive bars, cussing like a sailor and in general – just being punk rock. Nope. I live for the beach, I love hiking… camping, BBQ’s, low key times at home, dancing like a fiend somewhere… anywhere…. laughing hysterically… cuddles… meeting the parents, going for walks… going to shows, doing nothing.. wandering around… throwing rocks. Silly stuff… it’s what makes me… me. I’ve launched into this tangent a thousand times, but I guess… until I feel like I’m surrounded by people who know this about me, and love me FOR these things… I’ll just keep preaching it. I’m off.

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