The Wait & See Game

Recently I’ve done alot of thinking about relationships and have come to the conclusion that peoples ideas regarding them, are a little screwy. For one, relationships evolve through a process of getting to know each other, expanding levels of comfort and overall good times/ support/ emotional connection. The titles of boy/girlfriend- are irrelevant. Over the years, I’ve gradually relaxed in the relationship department. I used to have the same fears and moments of jealously, as anyone else. It’s a natural process that most people see to go through, until they (or at least me) grew up a bit, and not only set my own boundaries, but discovered that… I actually don’t mind having down time or quiet time to myself. There in was the first revelation, and the main stepping stone into a better way of loving. Independence & Freedom. There’s an old saying that’s stuck with me for years now, and it states simply that “constant togetherness is only good for Siamese twins” And it’s true. There’s some days, that the only place I want to be, is with the boy. I love the way he makes me feel, the way he thinks, his directness, etc…. it’s a happy time overall, but then somedays… .the only place I crave- is sitting on the couch, curled up in my sushi jammies… reading a good book. The key point to that, is knowing that it’s ok to take that time to yourself. I see it daily in other friends relationships- a need to be constantly with there partner, or before they decide to make plans with there friends, they’ll have to check in with said partner….. I don’t get that. Go do your thing, have fun…. if it’s love, it will be there when you get home from your latest adventure, hopefully excited to hear about your night. Love should be freeing, not a prison sentence. <—- Ok that was a bit dramatic, but you get my point. For me, at this stage in my life- you will never here me tell any potential long term partner, what he can and can not do. If I’m romantically involved with him, I promise you that he’s a grown man and for gods-sake, capable of making sound decisions. He can make all the choices he want, based off whatever reasoning….. he should be old enough to know that with every choice comes a consequence. Ce La Vie. You can’t spend time worrying, or stressing over what bad choice he “might” make….. you’ll drive yourself nuts. Trust is a hard thing to freely give, but one that’s necessary to sustain- not only your sanity, but your friend/relationships. Regardless if you try and control the outcome of any given situation, people are, by nature – free willed thinkers. Let them be that… encourage them to be that. Freedom, Flexibility, Individuality and Trust are key components to helping any relationship of substance, grow. I know I sound as though I have it all figured out, but I don’t…in my own situations, I’m having to learn a few lessons, mostly in patience, and give the boy the time and space to work out his thoughts… so far, the patience issue, hasn’t been as problematic for me as it has been understanding where that delicate line of being patient and being a door mat lies. It’s an interesting little situation, one filled with lots of love, and alot of urges to kick him in the shin sometimes…. then followed up with a giant hug & a hi-five. haha.. Oh well, either way- regardless of whatever outcome, in whatever situation- the most important thing is to have that base of friendship. Since, at the end of the day- it’s the person you can easily talk to, that you’ll want to seek out and spend time with. I’ve got to run, so I’ll go ahead and publish this… but I’m not 100% certain that I’ll leave it up. The beauty to writing here, is that I have a little more freedom to speak freely, since none of my regular readers have made the virtual trip over to this location yet