I woke up this morning in a usual array of unkept. ha… I don’t know why but that sentence makes me laugh. If you could just see what I meant by that statement, you would probably laugh too. Whenever I stay at my house, I toss and turn so much… that in the morning it’s looks like I waged war on my covers. I’ve gotten used to sleeping at the boys – so at my house, I have a big pillow that gets used as a stand-in for The Man…. sadly for the pillow though, it usually ends up being held in a death grip sometime through out the night. Poor pillow. Between the death grip, and the covers struggle… my bed looks like a battlefield. On top of that… due to all the moving around…. my hair ends up scaling new heights that any porn star circa ’83… would be jealous over. My eyes are still puffy with sleep and somehow turn this oddball blue/ green color….. too much sleep, too little sound sleep… who knows. I just know that the overall effect, pillow, blankets that have essentially managed to hog-tie my legs, the hair, the eyes…. what a mess. haha I fell asleep at a normal hour last night, and ended up waking up a couple of times. Once at midnight… and once again around 2am. I’m pretty used to waking up through out the nights these days, but last night was a little disorientating. I think it’s cause I went to bed so early, so when I did wake up… I kept thinking it was later in the morning hours then what it was. *big yawn intermission* whew… ok, well… I have a lot to say.. but some of its not really news, some of it’s just my usual babble… some of its a little melancholy… mostly I guess I just want to tell myself to buck up. Shake the blues, get back on track and get moving. No rest. I think the blues maybe stemming from … well the recent job stuff… not that I’m bummed about losing my last job per se… but I am actually missing my friends that I made there. That’s fixable though. One of my co-workers texted me last night, wanting to know if me and the boyfriend were .. .whoa… that’s the first time I’ve said that here…. haha…. how funny. Anyway, wanting to know if we were working at our respective bars on Sat, cause him and his wife wanted us to come to dinner. I thought it was really sweet… but as far as weekends go- ours are usually pretty shot. Sometimes it works out for us, since we’re usually the last 2 people still up and kicking come the wee early hours of the weekends but as far as a weekend social life goes- well… that’s pretty much it. Speaking of bars… this Sat night at my bar- DJ Scribble is playing. Which should be good. I got a text in the middle of the night saying that we all have to be ready to roll, our bars set up and everyone accounted for by 6pm that night. Hopefully it will be lucrative. Like I said before, I worked from 3pm-3am the other day, and really didn’t clear that much cash. Plus my drawer was off for the first time ever.. and quite frankly- I’m still bummed about that. I’m always on when counting out. So I’m still not 100% certain what happened. Whatever, I just paid out the difference and called it a night. I was too tired to go searching for answers. Well… let’s see, what else. Sunday I’m helping my photographer buddy shoot some stuff. He just needs a model to pose, just to work out lighting and other stuff…. so I’m just a subject to point & shoot at. I don’t mind helping out… but I think I’m not really going to be actively looking to take on more modeling stuff outside of this and quite possibly the next shoot that we’ve tossed around. As far as SG goes, I’m still up in the air about doing any other sets. I guess it’s cause my life is moving into a realm where I know I would want a family and kids in the next however-many years … or hell if you asked me … I’ve been ready for that since I WAS a kid it seems. haha.. but anyway- my idea of being in a family unit doesn’t involve my kids potentially stumbling across nekkid photos of mommy online. Plus, my focus would be on just that… taking care of the family, of course, in that – making sure that I am still growing and evolving as an individual but that’s just part of my personality. Family first. I don’t know.. I think I’m officially babbling… but this little thought process has been on my mind a bit lately. It’s funny how you can actually sense when your priorities shift from what’s best for you as a solo person.. to in what way can you be a positive, contributing factor in a larger puzzle. Hmm… does that make sense? Wow…. the bruises from being tossed into that coffee table on Monday night, are healing at Wolverine type speeds. That’s pretty cool. I’m used to be banged up from roller derby, baseball, volleyball (believe it or not) and other various sports… muay thai usually just does a number on my elbows….. but normally it takes me a lot longer to heal. Go me and my newly acquired superhuman traits. ha… oh… speaking of sports… here’s me last season in Santa Cruz. I was on a work league for a couple of years (The Master Batters….. um, yeah… clever eh) and before that I was on a co-ed league for years… and way before that I was actually on the boys baseball team in HS…. I guess I’ve been playing pretty much since little league in Hawaii. Somedays, I’m really good… somedays.. I can’t get it together. Ha.. that’s a pretty accurate metaphor for my life lately as well. haha I’m either totally on it, or can’t find “it” to save my life.
yes… I’m the dink that wore all black to the game. It was cold when we first got there… who knew it was going to turn into the summer day to end all days. shheesh.
Anyway…. I think I’ve babbled enough. I really should take some of this babble and write my mom. She emailed me the other day, and I hadn’t checked my yahoo account in awhile… so I’d missed her email… .she wants to do family stuff this weekend… but I’m not a 100% sure why she keeps wanting to do stuff on Sunday nights. The last thing I want to do on a Sunday night is drive to Acworth. I mean, I would if she pushed the issue, or if my grandparents said I had to… (I usually do whatever the grandfather says.. I think I was always meant to be “daddy’s girl”.. and since the g-father was the only father figure I really had… he’s pretty much my hero and the man I tend to measure everyone against. If he lays down the law saying I’ve got to be somewhere, do something or … whatever… then I just do it with a polite “yes, papa” haha.. anyway- random side note there…) So I guess I should figure out whats up with the weekend then. I keep kind of forgetting that my birthday is on Monday… so the family is trying to get some plan together. You know what’s sad… is I’m still a little mad at my mom for freaking forgetting my 30th birthday. I mean, she was in Spain.. I know.. but that never stopped her from calling before. She just totally forgot. I didn’t hear from her until days after the fact… classic. She’s a great friend, but kind of a crummy mom sometimes. Damnit… I shouldn’t say that actually, I love her with all my heart… but seriously.. that really bugged me. Wow.. look at me… all kinds of bitching today eh? haha.. Sorry sorry sorry… I’ll shake the funk (hah…. sounds like some new dance trend eh?) and be my usual sunny self in no time.