Blister’s & Blues

So first… let me say that I can’t believe Dom Deloise died. I honestly thought he died in the late 80′s. No offense to him.. but that’s what I thought. Anyway, I had to write something before getting ready for work, which will most likely put me at the office… since instead of being here I should be in the shower.. but whatever. I’m starting off the day with a lip sunburned that has gone haywire and now has stupid sun blisters across my bottom lip, which is exactly as sexy as it sounds… ouch! Speaking of sexy, I’m finally feeling better about the body changing issue, and have started to really enjoy the belly and look forward to it growing more… I watch it daily and always wait for signs of activity from the little one. There’s not much movement, but when there is, it’s pretty strong- so that makes me feel good.. but it’s sorta like crack, you can’t have just one kick haha.. after one or two, I find myself waiting all day for the next one. Come on Little Squee, work it out! Well… I guess the reason that I’m here is because I find myself in the midst of the happiest time of my life, I mean let’s take inventory, I’m marrying the man of dreams, we’re having a baby together, my Moms being normalish, his family is awesome and totally supportive, we’re working on getting our finances settled and ready for the future- but while I’m in this happy place, the only thing that really really leaves a black mark on every single day, is the daily cycle of facing my boss. He is the single greatest cause for stress in my life. I wake up and my first thought is about having to deal with him today. I’m doing all I can to keep positive and keep focusing on what’s important, but god…. this guy ruins my day on a wide scale reign. I totally understand being held accountable for our actions, and where abouts through out the day.. but he freaks me out. I hate reading text messages from him, I hate having appts scheduled since every single time he’ll ask, “are you going to get a contract?” well fuck man, I don’t know. That’s why I have an appt to meet with them, to find out if potential client is going to become a real client. If I get a signed contract, you’ll be the first to know buddy. So in the meantime, lay off and give me some space. If you spend the day making calls and setting appts, he’s upset that you aren’t running appts, but how on earth are you supposed to HAVE appts, when you get treated like you have the plague, for setting appts?? It’s a damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation. I wish he would go away.. I wish he would go away happily, and on to something bigger and better but just away from us. What sucks, is that as a person, I truly like him.. but as a boss, he ruins my day before I even make it to the office. He’s called people on our team names, cussed at them, I’ve knowingly caught him in a lie, he stresses all of us out and I know this because there’s been talk on my team of actually all of us sitting down and talking to someone in the higher mgmt about this. It’s that bad. I just.. in the meantime.. am working on keeping my mind open and positive, and reminding myself to take a deep breath before I respond back to him, and be democratic while dealing with him. It’s not easy, and like I said, I’ve actually resorted to guided meditation tapes for relaxtion (which is so so ) but I found another one about prosperity which is a ton of fun.. and the tape itself makes me giggle with how dramatic it is, so right there is a source of release haha… anyway, in other news, I wish the rain would go away and one last final outburst.. we’re almost 20 weeks along. Which means we’re almost halfway there. It’s exciting as hell and as long as the kids happy (which I’m hoping, squee’s dad was a super happy baby, so I’m hoping its genetic haha) and healthy and wise, I’ll be content. I had a moment last night while the man was at work where I realized that we’re coming up on the last 20 week block that I wouldn’t just be sitting peacefully at home, quietly reading a book… I’d have a partner in crime. haha