Scratching Post

I’m gonna bitch like I’ve never bitched before.

I’m fucking tired of being pregnant.. I know, I know… it will end. I get it but everyone who’s been telling me that lately… isn’t restricted by there body. They can go have a drink, or a smoke, or tie there fucking shoe, or feel rested after a full nights sleep, or really not have much to think about by way of labor. They don’t wake up 15 times a night to go pee, or feel hungry but unable to eat till you actually feel full (the baby has pushed all internal organs aside in order to have some room… which puts a bit of a damper on eating) I’ve been having pre-labor pains for 3 days now, but nothing seems to be going anywhere. I know it will, so please… spare me the “it’s not much longer/ you’re doing great” chant. Just because I know the logistics of the birth process, doesn’t make it any less annoying. I wish I lived by the beach still, then at least I could wander by the ocean and feel like I”m doing something for my body & soul. At the moment, with the rain, I’m cooped up… with labor being literally any moment now, I’m hesitant to wander to far from the house, I’ve read everything known to man and am now resorted to reading romance novels, which I usually hate… I end up skipping over the romance part and simply continuing on with the plot, so it’s like spending money on half a book. I don’t know what to do to entertain myself and no one else seems to have any fucking ideas either… so it’s just a lot of sitting around. I’m tired of baking, food isn’t very interesting, whatever friends I may have had here, are unreliable (not you Alex… I was thinking of other people, and I know you read this, and didn’t want you to think I was talking about you) at best.
God.. I’m in such a shitty mood. It’s just that it’s so constant. I can’t get away from the aches and pains, I can’t get a break from the hormones, from feeling unattractive, from wanting to have to sexy time with the man, but I feel all awkward and bubblelicious – not exactly the way you want to feel during intimate times… clothes are uncomfortable, anything that touches me makes me feel restricted….

Whatever. I don’t really care if I sound like a big baby… and I know that women have been having kids since the dawn of time, so I don’t really think I’m all that special in the way I feel… but I feel it just the same.

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