Irony… it’s a bitch
So.. I’ve made it no secret that I’ve got a lot going on.. Mom, work, baby, husband, family life as a whole…. etc… so today, in the midst of the tornado of my life, I decided.. fuck the world. I’m going to take my adorable & increasingly pudgy little son to the park. We’re going to cruise around, soak up some sun, and in general… be at peace. I was working hard to let go of the thoughts that haunt me daily… I figured that, I could take an hour off… you know… any where I decide to lay The Stress, was sure to be there when I get back from my Mommy & Me moment right. Right. It worked. We had a lovely walk in the park, I soaked up the fall sun, and Elias opted to nap in his stroller. It was great. The last 5 minutes of our walk involves us crossing a small intersection. Really not a big deal. I come to the corner the same time cars pull up to the 4 way stop. On one side, redneck family in mini-van… on the opposing 4 way stop team, some dude with dreads and a shitty attitude. So…. coming from CA, where the pedestrian always has the right away, I assumed I should go.. but knowing that people in Atlanta don’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves…. I did actually have the smarts to wait.. since no one was going anywhere, I decided to cross. Angry Dude across the street decides to go to… so NATURALLY I pause. God forbid I decide not to be kamikaze crosswalk lady with my 7 week old son in tow. So… of course, Angry Dude responds the only way he knows… and that’s to yell at me, complete with frantic hand movements… that clearly show both his anger and his OBVIOUS need to be through this crosswalk in lightning speed… anyway, so now we’re ALL clear that I should cross, so I do. As soon as I get out from in front of his car.. he guns it down the street. I was so bummed that I spent such a great, zen-like hour.. only to have it end like that. So needless to say, I hate Atlanta. I miss the beach. I miss the beach life. I miss the sunny, smaller towns…. Atlanta is just gross, dirty and at times.. cruel. Anyway.. so I called my Mom today, as I do most days- and he Dr has given her the “well, we’re in the last 6 months mark” which is why he sent her to hospice. They come into the picture when it’s 6 months or less to go…. after that conversation- I decided for once, not to think about what’s it going to be like. I thought about this:
My ideal job:
I applied to FB and with every ounce of JuJu my little (still baby-chubby though) body posses, I’m hoping to get that job.. or hell, right now I’d settle for an interview with them. We’re such a good fit, it kills me that I don’t know someone on the “inside” to vouch for me. Argh.. anyway.. so I was dreaming about that.
I was planning me and the Man’s first big date, without baby.. and I’ve come up with some fun, and low cash impact stuff. So I’m excited to involve somethings that we love doing.. with some things we haven’t had a chance to do- but I know he’d love. So that was neat.
I think alot about the days that Elias will finally be a little sturdier and I’ll be able to toss him into his little baby-bjorn thing.. and either walk the beach, or hike, or the pumpkin patch, or who know.. anywhere. I want to share all the beauty in the world and to me, the most beautiful things are the things that mother nature offers up. I love the moss greens in the woods, and I love the deep blues of the sea.. rivers make me happy. I love the vastness of it all. I love the purity in it. I love the sense of freedom that comes with being in the woods, or at the beach or playing in a river. It reminds me that rat race isn’t the only life that exists. Anyway, I’m anxious to share those things… camping, hiking, bike riding, boats, fishing, swimming, all of it. I’ve even thought that, since his Dad is an artist, that maybe a way we could encourage ‘Lias to be creative, would be to set up a little “gated” area in his room, where he could paint, or draw or basically .. be messy. I don’t know.. we’ll see… but it sounds like a cool area to me.
Anyway… for all two people who read this, could you work your own special mojo about the FB job? I’d sure appreciate it. Thanks
Leave a Reply