I’m ready…

I’m ready to take my life back now.

My Mom has passed, and the time for mourning…. was intense, if not mildly brief. I’m not saying that there won’t be moments of pure sorrow, but my Mom was a realist, and if I take too long to mourn her, she’ll start haunting me. I know it’s true and if you knew my Mom.. you would know it’s true too. If I could have her back, healthy and living the life she loved, then yes… of course I’d want that… but if having her back meant she went right back into hospice, I would rather be happy for her choice to start her new adventure.

My Mom raised me spiritually, and I think that’s part of what’s helping me now.

I’m ready to work out again, to be healthy mentally and physically. I quit smoking forever, then started back up again when then shit hit the fan… and drinking too… so I’d like to get back into a balanced place with that. I’d like to spend all the quality time I can with my son, since to date, he’s the greatest life accomplishment I’ve ever achieved, and I find joy in doing anything with him and am grateful that I’ve been able to take this time to be with him during these months. He’s a spot of total joy.

Plus, I’m ready to get my head around gearing up for work, when that time comes about.

I’m ready to start putting on clothes and make up again, and as opposed to being in my jammies (yoga pants ok, not always jammies) all day… and I’m ready to tackle some of the bigger issues around the house.

I’m just ready.