Dude… I got married, had a baby, lost my job and buried my Mom, in a matter of 6 months. If I want to curl up in bed by 7pm… so be it. I’m a little exhausted. Can’t a girl catch a break. Fortheloveofjeebusalready. … Read entire article »

I’m ready to take my life back now. My Mom has passed, and the time for mourning…. was intense, if not mildly brief. I’m not saying that there won’t be moments of pure sorrow, but my Mom was a realist, and if I take too long to mourn her, she’ll start haunting me. I know it’s true and if you knew my Mom.. you would know it’s true too. If I could have her back, healthy and living the life she loved, then yes… of course I’d want that… but if having her back meant she went right back into hospice, I would rather be happy for her choice to start her new adventure. My Mom raised me spiritually, and I think that’s part of what’s helping me now. I’m … Read entire article »

this….. this is what i want…. “Account Manager ______ is seeking an Account Manager to provide the highest level of customer service to our advertising customers in ______. The Account Manager will report to the Mgr, Account Management and will partner with the direct sales team throughout the entire advertising sales process. Account Managers will develop pre-sales proposals, generate post-campaign wrap-ups, and drive renewals while building strong relationships with our partners. An ideal candidate will have extensive experience in Account Management, having worked with top brands and agencies across the online ad sales industry. Account Managers will be expected to contribute to developing creative and custom solutions for strategic advertising partners. This position is based in ______.” damnit… i would be perfect this and i’m trying to get the interview but it’s … Read entire article »

So.. I’ve made it no secret that I’ve got a lot going on.. Mom, work, baby, husband, family life as a whole…. etc… so today, in the midst of the tornado of my life, I decided.. fuck the world. I’m going to take my adorable & increasingly pudgy little son to the park. We’re going to cruise around, soak up some sun, and in general… be at peace. I was working hard to let go of the thoughts that haunt me daily… I figured that, I could take an hour off… you know… any where I decide to lay The Stress, was sure to be there when I get back from my Mommy & Me moment right. Right. It worked. We had a lovely walk in the park, I soaked … Read entire article »

People who haven’t watched a loved one go through dying… don’t really get it. Most people’s intentions are good ones, and for the most part, they mean it when they say there “sorry” for what your experiencing. I spend a lot of time trying to keep my real feelings under wraps, for fear of dumping too much on people who simply aren’t qualified to handle that level of grief. When I’m alone, the tears come…. the heart breaks, and I feel the tide of hysteria start to swell. How do you explain that to someone who has no idea how to help, that has no power to help alleviate that pain? I spent years being angry at my Mom.. for believing she made shit choices when I was young. For … Read entire article »

So… I’d like to go on record as saying that I don’t care how it may seem right now…. but I won’t always look like some slouchy housewife. I’m still trying to get a grasp on this baby thing, the lack of sleep thing, trying to eat right (when I have no appetite) and trying to work out when I can. If it was up to me, I’d go everyday… but lack of sleep slows down that process and of course, having someone at the house to watch the baby, is a major factor in that little game. Anywho.. my point was, the world should have some faith. For that… sauciness will prevail. I used to think that Carpal tunnel was a bullshit situation for pansies. Till now. I’ve … Read entire article »

In the 2 weeks of being an actual, full time mommy……. I learned that having something’s entire lively hood depending on you, can send you to the cliff of intensity… but once you’ve made that journey to the cliff, it doesn’t stop. You would think it would taper off slightly, given that you’ve reached the intended destination.. but it doesn’t. The worry, the lack of sleep, the borderline obsession over the babies health… all push you slightly over the edge. Once dangling from said edge, you simply exist there in an alternating state of balance. Sometimes you hang by a foot, a toe, a finger, the whole hand…. sometimes you end up in an unexpected free fall….. no matter how you look at it- your at the cliff, hanging over the … Read entire article »

I’m gonna bitch like I’ve never bitched before. I’m fucking tired of being pregnant.. I know, I know… it will end. I get it but everyone who’s been telling me that lately… isn’t restricted by there body. They can go have a drink, or a smoke, or tie there fucking shoe, or feel rested after a full nights sleep, or really not have much to think about by way of labor. They don’t wake up 15 times a night to go pee, or feel hungry but unable to eat till you actually feel full (the baby has pushed all internal organs aside in order to have some room… which puts a bit of a damper on eating) I’ve been having pre-labor pains for 3 days now, but nothing seems to be … Read entire article »

I am sick and tired of feeling like a fucking planet. I’ve been a barrel of positive vibes and have been working through everything that’s been handed to me, but sometimes I think people forget that I’m still a person, and that it takes alot of my energy & focus to maintain a positve outlook. I’m tired. I can’t really sleep well, getting up off the couch or turning over in bed, takes an act of fucking god, I’m hungry but don’t want anything, I haven’t felt sexy in like.. months. I’m a very sexual creature, but haven’t had much of a drive in the last few weeks, possibly due to the fact that I can’t see anything past my belly… and well.. worrying about suffacting your husband, can usually lead … Read entire article »

Ok.. so I have a client that, for whatever reasons… likes to call me on the weekends. I rarely, if ever… will answer client calls on the weekends, and this call is no exception. It takes me most of Friday night, to stop thinking about my “work action plan”…. come Saturday, the only thoughts that typically float through my head is my guy, my mom, our little one, our house, whatever we might do for the day, and any thoughts that revolve around those topics…. by Sunday, I’ve officially forgotten there’s a work world out there and have found a total sense of peace. So.. with all do respect, just go ahead and sue me for not answering the phone Client. Frankly my dear…. I don’t give a damn. … Read entire article »